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Last night I got more direct with my Bible study than I often do. Sometimes as a teacher, it’s hard to speak on things that we know are areas where we also frequently fall short, where God continues to do the hard heart-level work that makes the spot tender to the touch. But it has to be said- and said to my heart, as well.  We are studying Philippians together this summer (over Zoom, because... 2020.) One of the themes that we just cannot get around is unity in the church, and the deep tie between unity and humility. In Philippians 2:2, Paul exhorts the believers to “be of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.”  Note that this is not a call to uniformity of thought. The early church was no less divided than we are today. Slaves and slaveowners, zealots and former tax collectors, groups of mixed culture, race, social class, political stance... and yet, Paul tells them to be of the same mind. How?! I think verses 5 and 6 clue us in to the an...

I got my black dress out of the closet this morning. We have a gathering today, a time to mark the homegoing of a beloved man in our church family. I also have been talking with family members this weekend as we anticipate one of our membership going to see his King very soon. Last week I had a hard conversation with a friend as we wrestled with the fragility of our days.  This is hard. This season is hard.  The Bible says our days are like a vapor. Like a flower in the field. There, and gone.  Today as I prepare my heart for the hours ahead this verse is on my mind.  “It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.” Ecclesiastes 7:2 This is the end of all mankind.  I’ve been listening to John Piper’s Don’t Waste Your Life. What a poignant reminder in times like these. What will I present to my King at the end of my days here under the sun? Will I give Him m...

It’s Monday. We are still in 2020. The news is full of coronavirus spikes and protests and politics and madness. Pause with me for a moment, will you? In Philippians 4:4-9, Paul has a lot to say to us about finding God’s peace today, right now, in the midst of this year when the world seems to be quickly derailing into crazytown. Let’s walk through the flow of what he has to say together. Rejoi ce in the Lord- ALWAYS. It’s a choice. Even on a Monday in 2020. Be reasonable - and let it shine. Remember the Lord is near, so: *Do not be anxious *Instead, bring your prayer and needs AND thanksgiving to God. There is a connection between turning to Him with our needs and concerns (instead of internet news and social media), and having our hearts and minds guarded by the PEACE OF GOD. Even when it doesn’t make sense. We can’t choose the news, or what articles come across our feed, or what conversation is happening between coworkers today. But we CAN choose what we fix our minds on- what we me...

“In Ancient Rome fine pottery was relatively thin and fragile and often developed cracks while being fired. Unscrupulous shops would fill the cracks with a hard, dark wax, which would be concealed when the object was painted or glazed but would melt when the pottery was filled with something hot. . In ordinary light, the deception was usually undetectable, but when held up to the sunlight it was  clearly exposed, because the wax appeared darker. . Reputable dealers would often stamp their products ‘sine cera’ (“without wax”) as a guarantee of high quality.” -John MacArthur . Our Christian life can look good, glazed over with church attendance and fine sounding sentiments and all manner of good things. It’s the hot and fiery seasons of life that will reveal our cracks. What are others seeing as we are being held up to the light in the pressures of 2020? . “And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve th...

There is beauty everywhere this time of year. I find myself wanting to capture it, to savor it because this fresh bloom of early summer is so fleeting. It’s interesting how often the Scriptures link the beauty of flowers with the fleeting nature of our lives. “As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its plac e knows it no more.” Psalm 103:15-16 “The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the Lord blows on it; surely the people are grass.” Isaiah 40:7 “For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits.” James 1:11 There are no romantic poems in Scripture glorying in the beauty or fragrance of these magnificent creations. Rather, we are constantly reminded, “This won’t last. Your life won’t last.” Depressing? It will be if we fix our eyes on the here and now. Rather, t...

Doing some weeding this morning and thinking about sanctification. We bought our house seven years ago. It required eyes of faith. The house itself was outdated and neglected - if it had been on a HGTV show it would have been labeled a “total gut job.” We will just say it had good bones. The property hadn’t been truly cared for in years. Broken and irregularly placed pavers were the only “front  sidewalk” we had. Hip-high (sometimes shoulder-high) weeds and brush surrounded the house. Attempts at flower beds from years past were now fields of thistles. But it was ours. I remember telling my husband in that first year that my biggest goal was that the house wouldn’t look vacant and abandoned! Many home projects and seven summers later, hours and hours and hours of weeding and planting and truckloads of mulch and more weeding... and more weeding... it’s beautiful. It not only doesn’t feel abandoned- it feels loved. It feels like we live here. But it still requires hours of weeding. W...

What is it about jigsaw puzzles? I find myself pulling out puzzles during the most stressful and chaotic times in our lives. Maybe it’s because it gives me a quiet mental space to think as it quiets my body and focuses my eyes and hands. Maybe it’s the peace of putting in ear buds with my audio Bible and listening while I simply sit (something I’m often not good at doing). Maybe it’s soothing to bring order to chaos when nothing else in my life seems to fit together. Maybe it’s just comforting to know that even when I can’t figure out where something fits, it DOES fit, somehow, in this larger picture. I just can’t see it yet. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that if the piece doesn’t fit, but really looks like it should fit, it still won’t fit there no matter how many times I try. But I often keep trying. I want to force it in there somehow. Trusting God is a little like putting together a puzzle. Often we sit among heaps of broken pieces. We know He has a plan. We know somehow...

So here we are, quarantined during this week leading up to Easter. I hate missing observing Good Friday and celebrating Resurrection Morning with our church family.  Church services (at least in-person!), egg hunts, and family gatherings may be cancelled, but that doesn't mean this week needs to pass by without significant times of remembrance.  A number of years ago, we held a "Seder" (Passover meal) with family, and it has become one of our most treasured traditions around the Easter season. A time to simply pause and remember - remember the vast span of God's plan of salvation, the weight of our sin, our deep need for redemption, the hope we have in Jesus, and our calling to share the good news with others. Along the way, it has built in our kids a deeper perspective on what Easter is actually all about, how the Old and New Testaments speak to one another, the Jewish roots of our Christian faith, and even the significance of observing communion.  D...

We pulled out the Christmas tree today- it’s time for the annual work of decking the halls. If I’m honest, it feels like a hassle sometimes. Dragging a fake tree up from the basement and finding burned out lightbulbs and covering it with shiny objects our toddler can’t touch... why???? But it’s worth it. And not just for the beauty of ol’ tannenbaum or to have a nice place to put the presents.  Celebrating Christmas is worth it because the incarnation is such astonishingly good news! Jesus really did come. He really did become human. He really did walk among us and die for us so His Spirit could live in us! And that news is worth at least putting some effort into marking the season with beauty. This week my mom and I were talking about what it means to adorn the gospel. To hold the gospel up to the light, so to speak, and let it sparkle. Jesus coming to save us is remarkable news and my fake evergreen definitely doesn’t make it more so- but my effort (done in the ri...

In Matthew 20, we find an ironic juxtaposition of Jesus' call and our ever-present desire for our own greatness. And as Jesus was going up to Jerusalem, he took the twelve disciples aside, and on the way he said to them,   “See,  we are going up to Jerusalem. And the Son of Man will be delivered over to the chief priests and scribes, and they will  condemn him to death   and  deliver him over to the Gentiles  to be mocked and flogged and  crucified, and he will be raised on  the third day.” (20:17-19)  In the very next verse , look at what happens.   Then  the mother of the sons of Zebedee came up to him with her sons, and  kneeling before him she asked him for something.   And he said to her,  “What do you want?”  She said to him, “Say that these two sons of mine  are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left,  in your kingdom.”   Jesus answered,  “You do not know what you ...

This week in my reading through the Bible, I arrived at John 11 - the story of Lazarus, Mary, and Martha. This has become a treasured passage for me over the years as I walk through seasons of loss and grief and confusion.  Some observations: Jesus said Lazarus' sickness "is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it." (11:4) - which echoes of 9:3 when Jesus said the man was born blind not because of sin, but so that "the works of God might be displayed in him." 11:5-6 - "Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. SO, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was." (Isn't that "so" intriguing??) Martha and Mary both independently say the exact same thing to Jesus, word for word. "If you had been here, my brother would not have died." (11:21, 11:32) The Jews who are there echo this statement in 11:37 - "Could not he who opened the eyes ...

This is one of those pictures that captures such a poignant moment in time, far beyond what you see in the image. Three years ago, my husband and I were at a pumpkin farm with our family. And we were having fun. He was pushing me as fast as he could around the pushcart track and it was ridiculous and it made me laugh and still does. This also was a momentous day. We went to that pumpkin farm specifically to meet two children who needed a forever family. It had started that July. We had seen their picture. They were far outside of our “age range” we had told the county we would consider taking, and there were two (not the one we thought we could handle), but we had prayed and both had felt stirred to look into their case. I pulled up the email thread this morning - 49 emails back and forth with our worker over three months. So. Much. Waiting. We were waiting for information and for next steps with the county - and the kids were waiting. These kids who had experienced loss after loss...

Thoughts from my car as I run errands. (Don’t worry. I’m parked.) Ladies, there’s been something on my mind for a long long time that has been simmering. It bubbles up in me every time I get an email from Christian book companies. Every time my work mailbox has yet another flyer about yet another new Bible study or yet another simulcast with the current Christian celebrity. Every time someone te lls me that they just “want to get their book into the hands of the women of our church.” (In other words- they want me as a women’s ministry director to use my influence to sell their book.) We are a huge market. We, Christian women who want to follow God, are the source of BIG MONEY. Books. Bible studies. Simulcasts. Conferences. Yet another study Bible edition with pretty flowers on the cover. I wonder how many millions of dollars get spent every year on these things. They aren’t bad things. God has used particular Bible studies and conferences to deeply impact certain points of my life....

Wandering through the science museum I catch my reflection. I’m surrounded by spinning spheres and flashing lights and sound experiments and I remember the mirror reflection of this exact week last year. In this exact place. Evidently we have a predictable pattern just like this mirror on the wall. I stood in this spot and talked to our social worker. I told her we were angry. Frustrated. Feelin g used. Baby Bear had been moved from our home with less than 2 hours notice the week before- I fought for that 2 hours. Bear’s worker had wanted to come in 30 minutes. I remember pacing through this dizzying place telling our worker how tired we were of this pattern of feeling used and overlooked by the county. OUR biological children were vulnerable too. OUR children were accumulating trauma and loss from the county’s repeated disregard. And I wanted to be done. Looking in this reflection I think of how broken and used my heart felt. And now I think of the story God is weaving one year la...

Christianity is a call to die. Jesus not only saves us from the penalty and power of sin, He also saves us from the presence of sin in an ongoing process of teaching us to die to self and find life in Him. Transformation begins with a root of fearing God- recognizing that He is worthy to rule and reign and have His way in my life. Fear of God leads to a deepening humility as I see Him rightly and then see myself rightly as the subject of my King. As I humble myself daily I learn to surrender- to crawl back on the altar as a living sacrifice, day by day. This continual self-sacrifice demands perseverance through a lifetime of unanswered questions and suffering and the high and costly call of true discipleship. And finally, transformation bears the fruit of true gratitude - the sacrifice of praise - contentment in His presence no matter our present circumstances. Following Jesus is not an easy path. It is a hard fight - a good fight. A hard and good and worthy journey. {Reflections f...

I’ve been listening to Eric Metaxas’ great book Seven Women and the Secret of Their Greatness. Last night as I listened to the chapter about Corrie Ten Boom, one of the accounts hit me deeply this week of Thanksgiving. Corrie and her sister had been moved into a different barracks at the German concentration camp where they were imprisoned for hiding Jews during WWII. They realized that not only  was the straw on the beds rancid, it was also infested with fleas. As Corrie struggled with anger at the continued cruel and dehumanizing treatment they were facing, her sister Betsie reminded her of the verse they had read and discussed that morning from their treasured smuggled Bible. “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 It was God’s will for them to give thanks in all circumstances. Betsie challenged Corrie to give thanks for everything - including the fleas. Corrie struggled against this but eventually did ...

Sometimes it’s easy to feel unseen. Powerless. Unimportant. Unable to act because of broken, evil systems. This morning I was reading Jeremiah 38 & 39. Tucked into the devastating account of the brutal Babylonian siege against Judah is the story of Ebed-Melech, an Ethiopian eunuch in King Zedekiah’s court. Everyone’s favorite Bible character, yes? If you haven’t read this lately, check out Jer emiah 38:7-13 and 39:15-18. A quick summary- Jeremiah has been thrown into a muddy cistern to starve during the siege because none of the kings’ officials likes the message he’s been telling them from God. Ebed-Melech sees this, has compassion on Jeremiah, and acts with such courage that he approaches the king and boldly says that what was done to Jeremiah was evil. The king then tells Ebed-Melech to go ahead and haul Jeremiah up out of the cistern and gives him 30 men to help! This wasn’t a small task, evidently! E-M doesn’t stop there. He’s concerned for Jeremiah’s comfort and safety, d...

“Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. John 13:3-4 (NIV) Reading this familiar verse today, I was smacked between the eyes with two little letters. SO. Jesus knew all things were under His power, SO He stooped to serve His disciples. An example for them that they should do as He had done. Finding our identity in Jesus does more than make us feel better or help us have a happy life- security in Him does bring peace, but it releases us to become less, frees us to serve with humility, no longer dependent upon and chasing after position or prominence or recognition or approval. Others can think less of us without threatening our personhood when we are secure in God’s deep love. Others can misunderstand our motives without making us angry and defensive when we rest in the truth that God sees and knows our hearts. ...

I’ve been wrestling some things through with the Lord. And at the same time I’ve been wrestling through the book of Romans. To be completely honest, Romans, like God’s plan, sometimes feels like familiar ground... and sometimes feels dry and never ending... and sometimes feels confusing. I circle big question marks in the margins of my notes. Sometimes I write out a prayer at the end- Lord, I’m  just not getting this. This is not sinking in. I need You to help me sync with Your thoughts and heart here because I don’t get it. I don’t FEEL it. This is the prayer not only of my study of Romans but of our life at this moment in time. A circled question mark. An honest “what?!” in the margins of my mind. And then Jesus and I came to Romans 11:33-36 today. This seems to be the answer He keeps giving me in different ways to my marginal wonderings. Today was so clear. “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable ...

He is not dead- He is alive, just as He said! Jesus walked out of His tomb with a real, flesh and blood body. So what? "Since the Bible teaches us that Jesus ascended in a body and will return in a body and that Jesus now reigns in a body, it's fair to infer that real children are sitting in a real lap (providing hope to those who have lost young ones). Shamed and hurting men receive an affirming, masculine hug. Women formerly abused, neglected, or forsaken have their cheeks touched with a selfless, nurturing, 100 percent pure hand. What is happening there - and it IS happening there, even as you read these words - can also, in a less perfect way, happen here through us, Christ's representatives. With such a possibility before us, how dare we simply play at church?" -Gary Thomas, The Beautiful Fight