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Tonight, T and I read the story of blind Bartimaeus in her story Bible . She kept pointing to the picture and saying, “He’s screaming! He’s screaming!”... which does give some insight on a common behavior issue for miss T.  😂 “No, he’s not screaming. He’s shouting, ‘Jesus, help me! Jesus, help me!’ Do you think Jesus will help him?” She looked at me and very solemnly nodded yes. She had no doubt Jesus would help him. Why? She hadn’t heard this story before. She doesn’t yet know Jesus. I’m not even sure how much she understands with her limited two-year-old speech. But yes- she was sure. Why? Because she knows what it is to be loved. And when she cries for help, someone helps her. She doesn’t know Jesus yet or understand His love, but she knows us. She knows she is loved and safe and someone comes when she cries for help. Parents of young children, these years are hard. Little ones are so sweet and say funny things and look precious in pictures, but these years are hard. I hear you...

Let's have an honest conversation about virtual church, shall we? Because I'm sure I'm not alone in the feeling of let-down and frustration each week.  We started so well today with such good intentions.  8:45am- I pull warmed homemade cinnamon rolls out of the oven that I had stuck in the freezer two weeks ago. I spread them with icing (on-plan for THM and everything!) and pour a cup of coffee, enjoying watching the big kids delight in a special breakfast.  Our 2 year old is still sleeping- perfect.  We go into the family room and settle in to participate in the service together.  9:03am- We are late. Even when church is in our own family room. What in the world is wrong with us? 9:05am- Internet connectivity issues. Our pastors' faces are frozen in strange expressions. I back the feed up and we try again. We will just be a little behind everyone else.  9:10am- We have more internet issues. Still frozen.  9:12am- ...

So here we are, quarantined during this week leading up to Easter. I hate missing observing Good Friday and celebrating Resurrection Morning with our church family.  Church services (at least in-person!), egg hunts, and family gatherings may be cancelled, but that doesn't mean this week needs to pass by without significant times of remembrance.  A number of years ago, we held a "Seder" (Passover meal) with family, and it has become one of our most treasured traditions around the Easter season. A time to simply pause and remember - remember the vast span of God's plan of salvation, the weight of our sin, our deep need for redemption, the hope we have in Jesus, and our calling to share the good news with others. Along the way, it has built in our kids a deeper perspective on what Easter is actually all about, how the Old and New Testaments speak to one another, the Jewish roots of our Christian faith, and even the significance of observing communion.  D...

I remember the feeling of being huddled in our basement during a tornado warning when my big kids were preschoolers. My husband was at work, they were afraid, I was nervous - tornadoes and lightning (along with spiders...) are high up on my list of biggest fears. Everything in me wanted to look into their wide eyes and confidently assure them, "Nothing bad will happen! We are safe! God will protect us!" The words were on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to say them. I wanted to believe them. I wanted to see them relax in the reassurance that we were invincible. Except that it's not true, and I couldn't say it. I've seen too many people wrestle with ramifications of this bad childhood theology that was drilled deeply into their view of the world from a young age. Because the truth is that this world is utterly broken. Creation groans. People sin. Tornadoes strike. Diseases rage. People die. Bad things  do  happen - all the time . I don't want them to fa...

Here I sit. Waiting for my daughter. As a homeschooling parent I have to admit I’m not as practiced at this as many of my peers. It still sometimes feels a bit foreign that she is growing into a life outside of our home. Hear me- it’s a good and wonderful thing and I’m thankful for it. It sometimes just feels foreign. Tonight we planned to end our summer break at a local lakeside beach. We had a picnic dinner packed, suits on, sand toys stashed in bags. We were halfway there when the promised “20% chance of rain” turned into a severe thunderstorm warning. We continued on in hopes that it would blow over. It did not. And so we were ending our summer with an unexpectedly pointless road trip in swim wear. We were all so disappointed... everyone but our 13 year old daughter. Going to the beach meant not going to meet with her small group of 8th grade girls. While the rest of the family fought disappointment about the beach, hopeful tears brimmed in her eyes as she asked if she co...

We’ve been in DC this weekend. In relentless rain. Oh and a hurricane is heading toward part two of our vacation.  This has been the kids’ dream trip ( #homeschoolers , right?! ). Yesterday I walked in the rain with my crying 10 year old between Smithsonian buildings. “I’m finally in WASHINGTON DC! And it’s raining! I’ve looked forward to this for SO LONG!” (Have I mentioned before that he’s a tad int ense?!) This weekend has actually been a gift to our family. It’s been a time to rehearse that all of God’s gifts to us are good. And when He gives us rain instead of sunshine, it is an opportunity to give thanks. Give thanks for rain ponchos. Give thanks for $1 bus rides. Give thanks that we are together. Give thanks for amazing museums and opportunities to learn. Give thanks for a dry, safe place to sleep. God has lavished His grace on us. When I am not gracious with myself, with others, with circumstances, doesn’t it all stem from misplaced hope? Misplaced expectations? A sens...

The owner of these cute little toes recently turned ten. Somehow an entire decade has passed. A decade of diapers, milestones, crayons, bandaids, tears, time outs, babydolls, zoo trips, library visits, hikes, snuggles, and discoveries. My little girl isn't quite so little anymore. We gave her clothes for her birthday and she was thrilled. Times have changed. As much as my mama-heart feels nostalgic and a little sad to see her stretching up tall and looking less like a child, I am thankful. She is growing in her understanding of the world. She is growing in her own abilities. She is growing in love for others. She is growing in her love for Jesus. She is my biological child, but my greatest privilege and blessing has been mothering her spiritually. John says it well, speaking of his spiritual children - there is no greater joy. "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:4 In the past week we have opened a new c...

The weather outside has been unseasonably warm. Inside, not so warm. Our kids have had short tempers and sharp words with one another in the past couple of days. Several months ago I had introduced them to the old J-O-Y acronym – Jesus first, then others, you last! They had locked onto that and bring it up from time to time. Today, when having a little family meeting to apologize and repair broken relationships after a rough morning, LB said the way they had been acting was like “YOJ.” Putting themselves first. As it is December first, we came up with a quick advent project: JOY missions. {It’s not a pinterest-worthy label and it’s crookedly scotch-taped on, but it does involve scented markers and a mason jar we found floating in a lake while canoeing this summer. Does that count?}  ;) We wrote out some secret missions: Let someone else go first. Clean someone else’s room. Make someone’s bed. Choose a toy to give away. Write an encouraging note. S...

I vividly remember having some serious emotional breakdowns around kindergarten and first grade. We’re talking, sobbing suddenly and uncontrollably at the water fountain for reasons that are hard to explain. It’s no wonder I married a mental health professional. We joke about my childhood emotional instability, but watching my six year old struggle to hold on to any kind of rationale when strong emotions are swirling and bubbling out of control inside of him is no laughing matter. Lately he has fallen apart over quite a variety of things, most fairly inconsequential. Somehow, when my son is losing it over things like slight frustration with his shoes, or not getting to play the game he wanted, or running into a tiny bit of difficulty with his math, any shred of patience and perspective seems to vanish from his mother, too. Once again, I am thankful I married NP. NP and I have been talking a lot recently about examining our thoughts and feelings, accepting (aka, not living i...