One

On Monday our dreams came true. After nearly twenty years of talking and dreaming of adoption with my husband, after a five year fostering journey full of plot twists and joy and grief, after a year of riding a crazy ride of a case including such clear leading from the Lord and reassurance that she is our daughter and unexpected complications and even hiring a private attorney to fight for her   and nothing (NOTHING) seeming to go as planned... The gavel dropped. And it was done. People keep asking me how I feel. How do I feel? I feel like I’ve been holding my breath for five years holding on for dear life as this roller coaster ride threatened to tear me apart. I feel like if I really sit down and think about it all I might cry for three days out of relief and joy. But right now I’m still holding my breath out of habit. I told my big kids tonight how I was feeling- and oddly enough they get it even more than any adult I’ve talked to. They’ve walked it. “It’s like you fo...

Planning for the fall homeschool term. Feeling the same feelings I do every year and maybe I’m not the only one who needs a peptalk. You’re looking at this list and feeling overwhelmed. You’re thinking about how your plans never seem as pretty or picturesque or complete as those other moms. You’re wondering if you can do it. And you know what? You can’t. You cannot do this on your own. And the good news is that you don’t have to. God has given you everything you need to do what He has called you to do. You aren’t called to be that family on Instagram. You are called to be you- you, just obeying, empowered by the Holy Spirit, getting up every day and drinking all the coffee and doing the next thing and finding Him faithful. There is no perfect mom. No perfect education. But we have such a good and perfect God and He has not changed. So stop listening to the lies. He has entrusted you to mother and teach these kids in this season in this way. Trust Him. And do it. ...

Today our church family was challenged with the role of lament in our lives. We live in a Christian culture that doesn’t want to sit in the hard and uncomfortable reality of our broken world. The symphony of sadness that blends together both the rock-solid truth of Jesus’ triumph and power and ability and presence along with confusion and real questions and the struggle of living in the “now but n ot yet” state of the Kingdom. We don’t lament well. This afternoon we met Wonder Girl’s biological siblings for the first time. They were so sweet. NP played tag and talked football and we splashed in puddles while the sky dumped unbelievable amounts of rain down around the pavilion we sheltered under. The puddles became streams and then standing water covering our feet. It seemed like a fitting juxtaposition on what we hoped would be a beautiful sunny day. This is one of the sides of fostercare and adoption that nothing truly prepares you for. These children that have gone through all th...