Jesus is Better

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This post is part of a month-long series reflecting on truths of Who God is through the alphabet and what those truths mean to us in the midst of our foster care journey. You can find the whole series here. 

 At our very first foster training, my husband and I sat down next to a perky Christian couple full of virtue and enthusiasm. The woman (who I seriously think was wearing a denim jumper, at least in this memory), turned to us and said, “So, why do you want to be foster parents?!” My husband and I looked at each other and smiled as we answered together, “We don’t.” It was not the answer she expected!

I still don’t. I’ve tried so hard to stop and God has not allowed us to. Over and over and over again, well meaning people tell us, “I could never do what you’re doing.” “I could only do that if I knew I could keep the baby.” Or the best question, “But is it hard to give them back?”

The honest answer? It has wrecked me. It is so hard. I love these babies like they are mine forever. I wrestle in prayer over them, begging God both for restoration of their family and at the same that I could keep them. Please, God, please let me keep them. But your will be done. It is a wrestling match to choose to believe and trust, and the greatest comfort is that the Holy Spirit intercedes for me and interprets these contradictory prayers in a way that makes beautiful sense.

I don’t want to do this. Yes, it is hard- so hard. But this is where Jesus has taken us. And He is with us. And He is better.

In Matthew 13:44, Jesus tells a parable about the Kingdom of God. He says it is like a field in which a man finds buried treasure- in his joy, the man sells everything he had to buy the field. The treasure was so much more valuable than anything else that he was willing to lose everything to gain it. Jesus is the treasure. He’s worth it all. He is better.

What God has taught me time and time again is that the answer to “Why do I want to be a foster parent?” will completely change everything. If the answer is about me- me getting a baby, me growing my family, me being a hero, me with my savior complex- the grieving and difficulty of this path will cause me to give up or turn bitter or become inflated with ugly pride and self righteousness.

But if the answer is about Him- His glory and His goodness and His faithfulness and His love and His plan and His kingdom- it’s worth it. Jesus is better.

In all my sorrows,Jesus is better –make my heart believe.In all my victories,Jesus is better –make my heart believe.Than any comfort,Jesus is better –make my heart believe.Glory, glory,we have no other kingBut Jesus Lord of allRaise the anthem,our loudest praises ringWe crown Him Lord of all(Austin Stone Worship)
He is better. He is worthy. He is worth it.

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